Tips and a General Guide for First Dates
You’ve gone through the rite of finding and successfully getting to that first date. It is natural to feel both nervous and excited. First dates can be rough and the majority of them will end before they even begin. It is an experience that you want to make the best impression that you can (if you want there to be a second date.) While the first date is an initial meeting with the purpose of getting to know this girl or woman you have chosen to date, as an alpha male you want the date to go smoothly to lead to the second date and spending more time with her.
1. Planning is key. Take her somewhere that you go regularly — this will add impressiveness and credibility if you run into other people that know you personally already. Don’t choose a noisy place with bad lighting unless it’s supposed to be.
When you are picking where to go for the date, it goes without saying, don’t be boring. Pick places that are interesting and entertaining. If you are enjoying yourself, it will be easier for her to enjoy herself. You should have your date flexibly planned in advance, and a good conversation piece is to ask her input on your choice for date ideas or where she would like to go.
You will want to have dinner and conversation beforehand, but everyone loves a good movie and there are a plethora of theaters, drive-ins, and even home viewing options for getting close and taking in a good flick.
Back in the day it used to be laser tag, nowadays it’s skydiving. Nothing has the exhilirating appeal of jumping out of an airplane a mile above the ground to kickstart a first date (or even a second or third.) Nor is anything near as memorable. You can find tandem skydiving businesses or local instructors to set up the whole deal.
Art Galleries and Museums
It’s an intellectual breath of air to go to an interesting museum or art gallery as part of a date, even if you don’t know much about the exhibits or appreciate art.
The bigger the city you live in, the more likely you are to have a headliner comedy club, but even amateur comedy or improv clubs can be good choices for a date.
Even if you’ve never been it’s a great way to get engaged in drink and conversation aside from the usual bar or club. You should know whether your partner enjoys wine or not before choosing to do this as part of your date.
Bookstores and Libraries
This is another one for the intellectual, and bookstores and libraries often have live poetry readings or book signings at certain times. It is a good complement to a cup of coffee and conversation.
2. Listen to your date. There’s listening and then there’s listening. Your goal is to get to know the person you are going out with, and the best way to achieve that is by listening to their words. Don’t interrupt (that would be rude), but add your thoughts or opinions into the conversation that let your date know that the conversation is mutual and that you show a genuine interest in her and it.
3. Chivalry isn’t dead. Make sure you are opening doors, pulling out seats, and being generally polite. Don’t be early and don’t be late; be on time. It goes without saying you will be the one paying, but manners should supercede. Insist on paying only to the point that it becomes rude.
4. Conversation Tips
It’s great that women love talking about themselves and men who love listening, but there are things you can do to help the conversation. Ask great questions that are genuine or relate to what your date is saying — this signals that you both have a vested interest and are paying attention.
You have many experiences and interests to share to find someting in common between yourself and your date. Throw a story about yourself in when it does relate so that you can let your date know more about yourself and how you express yourself. It helps to be educated on various topics and things such as movies, music, and subcultures. Don’t try to impress your date with things such as how big your house is or how nice your car is; they will find those kinds of things out on their own.
Ask open ended questions that don’t necessarily have to have a simple yes or no answer. Do you have any siblings? How close are you with your family? What are your great dreams and aspirations?What do you do for a living? Do you like to travel? Do you like music? Do you like art?
Every girl or woman likes to be flattered, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. Make sure your compliments are well served and honest, and don’t overdo it to the point of being creepy.
6. Be Confident
Don’t provide entertainment to your date at your the expense at your own failing and shortcomings. Being confident will help your date be more comfortable with you, more attacted to you, and give a good opinion of you to her.
7. Be flirting and romantic
We have a great guide on tips with flirting, but just make eye contact, smile, and pay attention to what your date is doing.
The Basic Don’ts
1. Don’t be rude or obnoxious. This includes bragging and being overtly physical.
2. Don’t have awkward silences.
If you are intimidated or stressed out over the conversation of a first date, you are succumbing to emotions, insecurities, and fears. Carrying the conversation during a date may become difficult at times, but it is so easy to fill an awkward silence with a question, story, or sharing something about yourself. Of course you have to choose the right things — be honest to let your date know you are interested in her.
3. Don’t be too naughty. Relax. Focus on your date and reserve yourself for after your date.
4. Be presentable. Be well groomed and well dressed so that your date knows that you were interested enough to take the time.
5. Don’t talk about the weather unless you’re a weatherman.
If you really enjoy the person that you are with, you never know what could happen. First dates are the first step in getting to know someone, so make sure that you have your first date properly. If your first date goes les than ideally, which happens as much as you might think, let that person know that you care and enjoy her company. While there is no way to get rid of all the negative things that go with dating and first dates, there are several ways to make the experience more enjoyable.